June 12, 2011 § 21 Comments
I will say it. I think I have the blues. I spent an entire Saturday afternoon wallowing in bed. Forty-two days into engagement, most women are thrust by mystical powers into planning their fantastical, magical day. Nope. Not I. I wallow in bed. The big question is why. And here’s a very itty bitty, whispered, modicum of an answer that no one wants to hear — I just want to elope. Plainly, simply, I do. No amount of crafting can cure this ailment.
One very distressing reality is becoming more apparent as the days progress — having any type of wedding would cause a lot of people to feel excluded. So, if I cannot choose who to include, I want to exclude everyone (I’m an all-or-nothing type of gal).
This is the obstacle we face — the important people in our life are spread across the globe. I am in Toronto. He is in California. My parents are in Michigan. His parents are in Istanbul. Only a handful of my relatives are in Toronto, less than 20% in Michigan and scattered across the US, the majority in Manila. 100% of his relatives are in Istanbul. All of the friends I’ve made over the past two decades are in Toronto. His friends are across Turkey and a small handful in the US.
It is a logistical nightmare. Where in the world would be fair? How do we choose to have a wedding in Istanbul only to have the bulk of my relatives feel excluded, or a wedding in Toronto or the US or Manila and in turn make his feel excluded? How do I oblige anyone, family or friend, to travel across the globe (including all neutral ground) merely to watch us get hitched? The request is so unwarranted. And that is precisely why I don’t want to do any inviting, and why I have spent the entirety of a Saturday afternoon feeling decidedly miserable.
No matter the contrary, almost all weddings are a people-pleasing production. The truth is, O.T. may likely never be forgiven for eloping. For this reason, he is up for the challenge of pleasing and of having two weddings, in Istanbul and Manila. But, not only would that be a financial nightmare, that would mean we would have segregated weddings for our respective sides of the family and in many ways, that option is more alienating than choosing one city over the other. What other choices do we have left?
What makes the decision process even more arduous is I cannot stop my mind from rampantly wandering off to a fantasyland of wedding DIY. My mind has somehow dispelled my compulsions to craft for craft’s sake on this here blog. Instead, my mind has been inundated with countless crazy cool ideas for world-travel-themed wedding invitations, favor boxes, centerpieces, and crafty décor — everything I long to make with my very hands — all of which I cannot really accomplish unless we have a wedding. I have poured my creative soul in designing all forms of paper paraphernalia for brides for nearly the past half a decade — how could I not do my very own?!? And am I left to fashion a big white dress within the confines of a bridal store??